Stepping Away for a Bit

When I started Shiny New Cartridge a few years ago, it was meant to be fun. I was writing about something I greatly enjoyed in an era when exciting, new things were happening in video games.

Somehow, that excitement has gone.

Between Sony’s murder of the Vita and hardware malfeasance with the PS4 (seriously, the thing’s a piece of garbage), Nintendo’s underwhelming Switch, and the dearth of games I’m looking forward to on the Xbox One, maybe it’s time for me to go.

I don’t do online multiplayer. I don’t want to play shooters.

Maybe it’s time for me to go.

I’ll be stepping away from Shiny New Cartridge and video games in general for a bit. This site will revert to its WordPress domain during that time.

Maybe I’ll be back. I don’t know. But right now, video games aren’t any fun.

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Dear Sony: Your Hardware is Shit (Update)


Dear Sony: I should have broken up with you a long time ago. You have no attention span, your hardware is usually rotten in its first iteration, and you have a haughty arrogance that so puts me off. I’ve been a customer of yours since your original PlayStation, and I have all sorts of audio equipment from you as well. Methinks it’s just the attitude of this division. But it’s appalling.

The thing is, I love the Vita. It’s amazing. Your decision on the memory cards, however, was idiotic. And the fact that you have the attention span of a gnat and stopped developing for it tells me all I need to know. I still have my PS2 hooked up, and I have a Vita and PSP that get regular use. I didn’t want a PS4.

The problem is, the games I want are going there now instead of the Vita. So I grudgingly got myself one for my birthday last year. My local Gamestop had a white one, used. I wanted the white one, so I got it. I don’t like the way the black one looks, I don’t play Call of Duty or Man Raider, so I didn’t get those, and your Star Wars one looks like Darth Vader fucked a VCR. Not a whole lot of choices.

Everything was fine for a couple of months. Then, when I got Ratchet and Clank last year, it started randomly ejecting the disc. I thought it had something to do with the game crashing, so I kept at it. But no. Then, with the system in standby, it would randomly beep and try to eject a disc that wasn’t even in there. In the middle of the night. That’s not creepy at all.

All of this to discover that it’s actually a design flaw. That the rubber foot under the eject button expands with heat and triggers the eject. You can mess with the screw on the side of the disc player when you pop off the cover, but even this has stopped working. It’s a bad design. And you know it.

So I go to your support site. It says to enter the serial number, which I do. You helpfully tell me that the system is out of warranty, which is fine. I’ll pay a bit to repair the system I bought less than a year ago. Fine. I could take it to Gamestop and swap it out, but I know I’ll get a bulk black system. I don’t want that. I want mine fixed.

But when I trace that problem? You ask if the problem is that my PSFucking2 won’t accept discs. I’m sorry, did you import this site from GeoCities? Is this for real?

You have a design flaw. You should fix it. I get that I’ll pay some to get it fixed. I’ll pay for shipping. But getting to even that stage seems to be mired somewhere. Kind of like your utterly appalling user interface.

Or maybe it’s where your games get stuck. You know, the ones you get fanboys wetting themselves over for no apparent reason, then stick one on kickstarter and have no date for another, while a third shows every sign of development hell. And that’s how you get away with really not making very good games systems.

I mean, come on, Sony. I don’t want to have to write you off forever. But damn am I ever close. Between the way you’ve treated the Vita and the way you treat the industry, I’m sorry.

It’s not me. It’s you.

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Fire Emblem Warriors Coming to New 3DS

24xr9apAnd my need for a Switch just got a whole lot lower. Fire Emblem Warriors, like Hyrule Warriors, is also coming to the New 3Ds, Nintendo announced today. Like the Switch version, it will be available this fall.

That just pushed back my need to get a Switch well into next year. Which is when, as it turns out, a new Fire Emblem entry is coming to the console.

We also got news that a reimagining of Fire Emblem Gaiden from 1992 is coming to the eShop quite soon. I wish it was on cartridge, admittedly, but I’ll take what I can get. Also, this new title will get a couple of amiibo that I’ll attempt to get my mitts on.

They showed off the mobile title, too. There looked to be plenty of in-app purchasing options. I like the look and voice of my Tharja, but I’ll probably skip the game. It comes to Android on 2.February and iOS later.

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Why is PS4 in the Lead?


This will be a bit of a rant.

I can’t figure out why the PS4 leads this generation. I can’t. My system has broken for a second time, the operating system is utter crap, the UI is counterintuitive.

I keep hearing about the games, but they seem unspectacular and samey to me. The exclusives aren’t special.

I keep hearing about what’s coming, about their amazing presentations, and what… we had E3 in 2015, where everyone wet themselves about a game that took a decade to release, one that will release some time in the future, and one that got a KickStarter. That was an amazing show?

The controller’s battery is garbage. Their online shop doesn’t have a wishlist feature. And this is the one that gets all of the fanboys going.

I genuinely don’t get it. As, once again, mine has become a paperweight because it randomly ejects discs. Again.

Utterly baffling.

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Disgaea 5 and Puyo Puyo Tetris Coming to Switch


Surely it’s going to be a torrent of announcements now, and it’s kicked off with a couple of doozies: Disgaea 5’s complete edition will come to the Switch, as will Sega’s Puyo Puyo Tetris, which has been out in Japan for some time. The latter will be coming to the PS4 as well. Preorders for Disgaea 5 are now open on NIS America’s site.

This is shaping up to be quite the system, especially if the 3DS end of the library comes to it. So long as that channel keeps rolling, I’ll be on board.

Though, please Atlus, bring Etrian Odyssey Untold 3 to the 3DS instead. It’s going to drive me nuts to not have the full series in one place…

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Nintendo Switch: The Rest Includes Zelda at Launch


I say again: I wasn’t blown away by the Switch launch. I think they spent too long with some of the details trying to justify the hardware. But once they got into the games? Oh. My. God.

First off, as I couldn’t contain myself in the last post, Fire Emblem Warriors is real. There was no footage and no date, but the fact that it’s real means I’m going to own a Switch.

Xenoblade 2 is also in production, as is the next Shin Megami Tensei title, as well as an RPG from Square that has a feel like Bravely Default but an art style that’s, well, stylish. I want all of those.

Super Mario Odyssey is a thing, too. This is the successor to Super Mario Sunshine we’ve been waiting for. Not in the sense of a continuation of the story, but of the gameplay of that title and of Super Mario 64. That one looks essential.

FIFA is coming to the Switch in the fall, though there’s no word if that will be the mainline game or something special.

Skyrim is coming, too, though that’s not really my thing.

Splatoon 2 is real. I love the style of the game, though I can’t say the play is entirely my thing. Iffy if I would get that.

But the bombshell was at the end. Because the trailer for The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild, makes for an utterly stunning game. This game is way late. And looks to have been completely worth it. They came back to the line from the trailer at E3 at the end, too: Open your eyes.

And what do we see? That launch date: 3.March.2017.

I’m not sold on the Switch hardware, though at $299 in the States, it’s certainly doable. Damn it if they didn’t bring a lot of noise with games, though. I’d like more in the way of release dates. I’d like to know if more than the two colour options for the JoyCons are coming (plain grey or my preferred neon red and blue). And I’d like to know what games are actually going to be available at launch.

I will own a Switch. That wasn’t a sure thing before tonight. It is now.

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Nintendo Switch Feels Meh to Me. And I Absolutely Need It.


I made a joke on NintendoLife that probably the only way to get me to buy a Nintendo Switch was to make one specific game that I wanted. One that was kind of a brain fantasy, putting together two of my favourite series. No way it was happening.

Holy hell, it is.

Fire Emblem Warriors.

I’m not overwhelmed by the Switch. I don’t see a ton that I love. But I absolutely need this game in my life. I will buy the system and game whenever I can get both.

I haven’t geeked this hard in a very long time.

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